Relationally Rooted - Bring a Buddy
Relationally Rooted – Bring a Buddy!
Good morning, everyone! Wow, I remember being in this room and it is wonderful to be back! My name is Michele, and I lead the Prayer, Women’s and Small Group ministries here at HTC. Last week, we started a series that will review HTC’s six main values based on a hiking theme. To kick off the series, Brian talked about being “Christ Centered” and how Christ is our true north like a compass, always pointing in the right direction and back to Him. Today we are going to talk about the value of being “relationally rooted” and relate that to the hiking analogy “Take a buddy.”
Relationally rooted means that we place a high value on relationship first, over things like getting things done. Because the early believers lived in an agrarian society, there are many references in scripture to farming terms like being rooted. The people would have understood how important it was for plants to have good strong deep roots so that it could thrive and grow. Let’s look at a familiar scripture in Ephesians:
Ephesians 3:14-21
For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
It's a great scripture and in it we meet our first, most important “hiking buddy” – the Holy Spirit. This verse says the HS will strengthen us with power and that BEING ROOTED and GROUNDED in LOVE will give us the strength to comprehend the love of Christ and be filled with all the fullness of God. It says the power of the Holy Spirit is at work within us and that God will be glorified IN the CHURCH by this.
Point 1: All of the relationships in the Body of Christ are ROOTED IN the LOVE of GOD.
Before we knew God, we were not members of His family but because He loved us first, we were adopted into the family and called “sons and daughters” of God. This family membership comes with full benefits and is simply because God loved us first and we received that love. LOVE is the main currency in the family of God. There are things like faith and grace and humility that carry weight and value in the kingdom, but love is the unifying currency of them all.
The love of God is not fickle like human love and is not only spoken but expressed. Its greatest expression was the death of Jesus on the cross for the things we did wrong, done simply out of love for us and a desire for a relationship with us. Think about the symbol of the cross for a moment. A long vertical beam, representing God’s love for us, a love we never earned. Paid for by the blood that flowed down the beam, freely offering forgiveness and grace. Then the arms of the cross extend from that foundation. Our love is meant to be rooted in God’s love. Do we expect people to earn our love? Do we freely offer forgiveness and grace? It is God’s love that compels and propels us. It is His love that gives us identity, meaning, purpose, and value. And in our relationships, it is this love that challenges us to get better, be better, love better.
The LOVE of GOD challenges us to LOVE better.
The New Testament shows us clearly that when we are born again, we are born into a family of believers. We have a new, personal relationship with the Lord, but we are meant to walk out our lives of faith in a community of believers. And love should be a hallmark of that community. And sometimes this worries me a bit, when I hear people talk about how great the relationships are at a particular church. Not because that isn’t a good thing, but because it can be on a superficial level.
I believe a church family is meant to be a training ground to develop good relationships. What does that mean? It means relationships may not always start out well, or even if they do, there will be challenge and conflict. Because guess what? Jesus is the only one who is perfect. None of us are perfect. I am a pastor, and I am not perfect. Maybe some of you are thinking, pastors are the least perfect ;-) As your pastor, I will most likely do something to hurt your feelings or offend you at some point. But, please hear me, that is not a reason to leave the church. That is when we dig in and learn how to say sorry and forgive and have true deep meaningful relationships. We learn how to do these things in our church family, so we are prepared to do it in the world. We can supernaturally love and forgive in the world as a sign and a wonder to the power of God in our lives. As we allow the Holy Spirit to do this work in our hearts, we learn to use God’s strength, not our own, to love well, to forgive, to say we’re sorry.
John 15:5 says it this way
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”
To love with the God kind of love is only possible when we are relationally rooted in Christ, and by the power of the Holy Spirit. It is a supernatural love, but also quite practical.
I saw this YouTube recently that I thought was quite profound. The guy was sitting there looking at the camera and says, “So the Holy Spirit helps you pray in tongues, but doesn’t help you apologize in English? Got it.” As a church that believes in the gifts of the Spirit still in operation today, we must remember that the fruits of the Spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, our character, trumps gifting every time. We have the example of the Trinity to show us how to prefer and defer to one another. How we treat each other is way more important to God, and our witness, than whether we pray in tongues or other spiritual gifts.
The Bible talks about spiritual clothing. Clothe yourself with humility (1 Peter 5:5) – because you will be tempted to be prideful, arrogant and self-centered. Like a woman who has a beautiful new dress in her closet (Ladies, the clothing swap is coming up on October 2nd!) and she never puts the dress on. Put on humility. I challenge you to decide to be humble and I guarantee the Lord will help you. Put the garment on! (Phil 4:5) Let your gentleness be evident to all, because the temptation will be to be harsh. Did you know the Bible says in Proverbs 15 that “a gentle answer turns away wrath?” How many of us are dealing with angry people in our lives right now and we just get angry back? It doesn’t help. We need to help of the Holy Spirit to give a gentle answer, but our relationships will start to change and eventually flourish.
Point 3: Being RELATIONALLY ROOTED means we are willing to do the HARD WORK of building good relationships.
Building good relationships take time. This is true of our relationship with God and with each other. There is an investment of time required to get to know one another and really see each other. I like the hiking analogy of taking a buddy because it requires time spent walking together. Some of you know that I like to help people organize, well just about anything! I do love to sort things and make them more efficient, but my true love is spending that kind of time with people and really getting to know them. When you are “doing life” with people, the conversations always go deeper.
Psalm 68:6
God sets the lonely in families.
This was one of the first verses I memorized as a believer. Granted, it is a pretty easy verse to remember, but the concept was profound to me as someone who did not have much in the way of a natural family. At that point in my life, I had a sister, and I was married to Mark and we had two kids. I did not have a large extended family to support me. My kids never had living grandparents in their lives. We were living in England at the time and that church truly became our family. I had never experienced anything like that, it was like they adopted us.
Interesting story, when we arrived at The King’s Church in Amersham (last stop on the Tube), they learned right away that we were American and they were like, “Oh, you’re here!” And we were like, “What do you mean?” They explained that church had always had one American family and the one they had had left the week before to return to the states. And we showed up the next Sunday and they adopted us. That verse, “God sets the lonely in families” became true for us in a very real way at that church.
And there are people the Lord is sending to HTC that need that verse to come true in their lives as well. Maybe you are one of those people. How well are we doing that as a church family? Do we truly welcome people into the family? Do you have the gift of being friendly and welcoming? We need you on the Welcome team. Talk to Pastor Janine.
There is one final thing I want to mention before we get into some application. I’m going to call it “The TEMPTATION OF ISOLATION.”
Point 4: Resist the TEMPTATION of ISOLATION
Proverbs 18:1 (ESV)
Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.
Hebrews 10:25 (ESV)
Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another.
1 Corinthian 12:14 (ESV)
For the body does not consist of one member, but many.
There are many reasons why a person may choose to isolate themselves, none of them are good. Sometimes a person may feel they are not good enough to be around people, they are broken and hurt and are afraid they will hurt others. While that may be true, the only way that kind of insecurity is healed is in community. The family of God must be willing to love the broken back into wholeness.
Another reason could be that someone feels they are too good for other people. Other people are always the problem. They are better off on their own. If you believe that, can I just say in the most pastoral tone possible, you are wrong? We all have things to work on, and they will most often come up in the context of relational community. The other week, I stepped way out of my lane and needed to apologize to Pastor Darius. Of course, he was so kind and forgiving. Have you met Pastor Darius, he’s so gracious. But just because he is gracious doesn’t mean I didn’t need to apologize, and I also need to not do it again. These issues come up in healthy community. A healthy community is not a community that does not have conflict. If there is never any conflict, the community is likely superficial. A healthy community knows how to do conflict well.
The enemy loves to get us off in isolation so we are cut off from life giving community and even correction. He can lie to us that other people are the problem, and then turn the lies back on us that we are the reason no one likes us. Isolation can become a very dark place very quickly and I caution you against it.
Point 5: We were CREATED to LIVE and THRIVE in a healthy family.
At HTC, part of the way we see that happening is the small group ministry. As the small group pastor, we are in my wheelhouse now. I have been in a small group consistently throughout my over thirty years of faith. Let’s be honest, I’ve often been part of many small groups at the same time ;-)
I have 4 C’s for the small group ministry that mean even more to me today than when I first came up with them:
HTC Small Group Ministry Values
1. CONNECT
2. CARE
3. CULTIVATE
4. COMMISSION
Today is the Small Group Fair. Have you ever heard the acronym BHAG? It’s sometimes used in a business context. It stands for Big Hairy Audacious Goal. In the small groups’ ministry, our goal is to have every member of HTC be a member of at least one small group. You are more than welcome to double and triple dip like me as well ;-) We allow group leaders to decide how often and when to meet and what to cover in the groups.
I’d like to invite a few small group leaders starting new groups to come up. 11 am service only)
We have geographical groups, based on location, Topical groups that cover a myriad of wonderful interests, and Men’s and Women’s groups. The small groups meet on a term schedule. For the fall, the term begins this week and carries through until the week of December 15th. Then there is a 12-week winter term, and 8-week spring term, and we allow the small groups themselves to decide whether to take a break, have socials, or continue meeting throughout the summer. You don’t have to sign in blood and lead a group until Jesus comes back, I promise, juts try it for one term and see how it goes. If the Lord is asking you to start a group, He will help you and it will be SO MUCH fun!!
In the lobby after service, you can meet some of these leaders getting ready to start small groups.
Maggie – is staring a new topical group called Art Appreciation. They will go on field trips around the DC metro area to experience great art and have wonderful chats about it.
Megan (with Anna co-leading) – is staring a new topical group for entrepreneurs. for professionals looking to collaborate and advance their businesses with a kingdom mindset. We'll hold 'studio hours' on Fridays from 8a-1p to work alongside one another and get support and encouragement and lunch sessions and workshops on topics of interest.
Morgan and Steven are starting a new geographical group in Springfield. They will meet every first Saturday evening of the month.
Joy and Hunter are starting a new geographical group in Alexandria. They will meet two Monday evenings every month.
Sara is staring a new women’s group called My Body: His Image. A great way to learn to see yourself as the Lord sees you.
Sommer (and Kathy) are starting a new prayer Zoom for moms that will meet every Thursday from 1:30 to 2:30 pm. I have been in a praying group of moms for decades and it is the most sustaining and encouraging thing. To hear another mom pray for your children is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear.
Please meet these wonderful folks in the lobby and talk to them about their groups. [Thank you so much for coming up!]
Visit the small groups page on the website. It lists about 45 groups in the categories I mentioned: Geographic (by town), Topical (by interest), and Women and Men’s groups. If you don’t see a group for you, please contact me and we will dream together and start one. There are many ways to push the “easy button” in leading a small group so that it is not a burden but a blessing. One immediate need is for houses in McLean willing to allow Young Adult small groups to meet in their homes. Please let me know if you can help with that.
One application of being relationally rooted is quite simple:
JOIN A SMALL GROUP or START A SMALL GROUP!
1 Peter 5:8
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
To recap:
1. All of the relationships in the Body of Christ are ROOTED IN the LOVE of GOD.
2. The LOVE of GOD challenges us to LOVE better.
3. Being RELATIONALLY ROOTED means we are willing to do the HARD WORK of building good relationships.
4. We must resist the TEMPTATION of ISOLATION because
5. We were CREATED to LIVE and THRIVE in a Healthy FAMILY.
Let’s not forget it is important to take a buddy on our journey of faith. The most important buddy is the Holy Spirit and the Lord gives us friends whose wounds are faithful, helping us to grow in LOVE and relationship.
Let’s pray….